Non bloggers probably wont know what I’m talking about when I say TOTS scores. To most UK parenting bloggers however it’s a big deal. Each month you are ranked against others and given a score which is then displayed on a badge on your blog. I care about my score, I try not to but the truth is I do. I’ve always been competitive and like to know I’m doing well at something and since becoming a Mummy there isn’t a lot that I feel I do very well at. When I started blogging it gave me something to be proud of and my increasing score every month only served to back up my sense of achievement. This month I’ve taken a huge drop of 103 places, now apparently that’s only just over 1% but it feels a lot more to me and I will tell you why.
Last month was one of my best months blogging, a month where I felt like it was coming together. My Facebook page finally hit the magical 1k likes mark and my Twitter is growing daily. I absolutely love Instagram at the moment and having a couple of weeks off work meant my head has been clearer and I’ve had more time to write. I had my highest page views ever last month after worrying about keeping up with the month before and now it all feels like it has been in vain. You see blogging takes over so much of my life. I try and fit in Instagram and Facebook during the day and tend to write in the evenings meaning after putting the children to bed I have no down time. I have deadlines to meet, pictures to take and I’m constantly thinking about the blog, trying to squeeze it all in feels too much. I started blogging as a way of writing, recording and well just for me. I’m not really sure how I’ve ended up here, feeling so down about my special place.
So this month I’m not going to track my page views, I’m not going to look at my badge or apply for opportunities that I never hear back from. I’m going to write when I have the time and if I feel like it. I’m not going to sacrifice time with my children, time with James in the evening and time for me to work my way up a chart that I can fall down on so easily when I have put in the most effort and had the best month ever.
I’m never going to be a top100 blogger or be the most popular and win awards and I guess I’m just going to have to accept that. It’s not the reason I started blogging so it doesn’t need to be a reason to continue. So this is me taking a step back beacause I’ve realised that putting in all the time and effort and missing out isn’t worth it. My time with my children is too precious.