Just Eilidh

Mourning the end of the holidays

I can’t believe it’s the end of the summer holidays, I’m distraught. I look forward to these weeks so much, especially as a teacher, it means I actually get to spend some quality time with my kids. The last year at work was stressful to put it mildly and the thought of going back to all of it makes me shudder. I’m starting to have sleepless nights filled with weird dreams and I know it’s the anxiety about returning.

Not only that though, I’m morning the end of another summer, the end of empty days stretching out in front of us with no rush to get dressed. I’m sad for all the things we didn’t get around to doing, for that fact that I will never have this summer with them again. They all have Birthday’s in September and October and are growing and changing so quickly I wish I could slow it down. 

I regret the days I counted down the minutes until bedtime, when I had run out of patience and couldn’t take any more arguing or whining. I wish I could go back and fill some of them with more laughter and smiles.

There have been plenty of happy days too, days with sunshine and happy faces, tired little bodies by the end of the day falling asleep in the car on the way back home. 

There have been beaches with sand between our toes, the sun on our faces, ice creams, sandcastle building and jumping in the waves.

There have been country parks, friends, family,picnics and grazed knees.

There have been planes, traffic jams, cocktails, sunbathing and swimming.

There have been flushed faces, freckles, screams of laughter, tears and lots of memories made.

I had plans for the last week that we haven’t been able to do due to chicken pox and so I’m sitting here unable to make the most of the sun, the countryside, the time before it ends. So I’m going to do my best for the last few days, I’m going to spend time cuddling, reading stories together and watching them play.

I’m going to take in their little faces and try to absorb the details before it all gets rushed again. 

I know in a weeks time I will be at work, wishing I could do it all over again! 

 

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