Life at 33 isn’t what I thought it would be. If I think back to being 18, I’m pretty sure at that point I thought I had loads of time till I was in my 30’s. It seemed so far away, like a different life. If you had asked me at 18, what will you be doing at 33? I would have told you that I would be either famous, living abroad or both. At 18 I was modelling, travelling and a real free spirit. I loved rock music, gigs and fashion. I was planning to travel the World and I was pretty head strong.
I thought I would have an amazing career that excited me and one that I excelled at. Be confident, happy, have many friends and an interesting and exciting life. I always saw kids in my future, just maybe not as early on as they came. I thought I would have a nice husband, but not one that I had to obey! A sporty car and a beautiful house with sea views and live in flip flops.
Then my 20’s happened and were pretty much a disaster zone. Finishing my PGCE whilst pregnant. Getting married, then getting divorced and being a single mum to 2 boys was definitely not the plan. Neither was having money worries that kept me awake at night and meant I counted the pennies and crossed my fingers with the food shopping at the till.
I have more emotional scars than I thought was possible and there have been plenty of those ‘oh shit’ moments. Friends have come and gone and I haven’t been to nearly as many gigs as I thought I would, or travel to as many places.
My 20’s definitely dulled my sparkle around the edges, I thought beyond repair. But maybe, just maybe my 30’s will recover it. Now I’m 33 it doesn’t feel as old as I thought it would. I’ve still got time to reach my goals. So if you ask me what my life will be like at 43 it probably won’t be the way I think it will be, but I hope it is!