Divorce a year on

August 19, 2014

If you had told me in my early twenties that I would be sitting here today at almost 30 divorced, I would have laughed.

Thanks to time hop I was reminded that it is the 1 year anniversary of my divorce finalising. I’m not sad, I’m happy about it. I celebrated the day my divorce finalised. For me it was finalisation on what had been a not very pleasant time. It was a confidence boost, that I was in control of my life and how I am treated. 
Some of my friends say I was brave making the decision to end my marriage. For me it didn’t feel brave it just felt black and white. It wasn’t me that had ended it, it had already been ended. Once I had got over the initial turmoil of finding out about the affair, or should I say having my suspicions confirmed. It felt like the only thing to do, the right thing to do. My parents are still together and I truly believe in working through problems, especially when children are involved. However, there are some things that cannot be fixed. 
I couldn’t spend the rest of my life constantly feeling like I wasn’t worth being respected, being loved! That me and my children weren’t someone’s initial first choice when given the chance. I couldn’t spend every day worrying and wondering if it was happening again, which I have no doubt it would. It would have been a miserable, stressful life and I couldn’t do that to myself or my two beautiful boys. 

Was it easy doing it on my own? No, but better than the alternative. Is it easy now? The split families and the constant guilt of not having the perfect family for my boys? No, but better than the alternative. 
A year on and I am even more sure that I 100% made the right decision. I am happy, yes truly happy, and that has a lot to do with the man I am with now who loves and respects me. The boys see a good role model and for the most part are in a happy, stable environment. Yes there are difficulties but they get easier as time goes on. I’m proud of myself for making the decision. For making a happier home for my boys and myself. For me there really was no alternative! 
Super Busy Mum

4 responses to “Divorce a year on”

  1. What a tough decision you had to make. Two parents together don’t necessarily make a ‘perfect’ family – what’s important is always doing the best for your children, and that they are happy, which sounds like it’s the case. You should feel proud of your strength. x #mmwbh

  2. Congratulations for getting so far and remaining strong and together for your boys. I am pleased you are still happy a year later and hope you and your family continue to be so.

  3. Suz says:

    what a hard choice to make, but so glad that it’s worked out for you, and you defo should be together because of the boys! You are far much happier and that’s what matters! Xx

  4. martyn says:

    Great post! I’m not going to say that it easy a hard choice. It’s a choice with some hard consequences bit at the same time it’s a great thing to do. I’ll be two years divorced this September. So on reading the bits that you have said I’m sitting here agreeing. In it all the position of the alternative offered seperation is a better choice. It’s hard but gets better.

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